That is wonderful! In reading down this thread, I was a little worried until I got to your last post! We had one potential birth mom who turned out to have done tons of lying, too. Unfortunately, in our case, she took the baby back, after I'd had her for 24 hours. I wouldn't have shared that with you before you knew if your birth mom was going to relinquish, but I can now!
How is nursing going? I am sure you know that babies who are high risk for developmental delays (such as drug exposed babies) benefit even more from attachment parenting techniques, including breastfeeding (not just milk, but nurturing at the breast), babywearing, co-sleeping, etc.
I adopted two babies who were high risk. The first, I got at 15 days old. He'd been born lethargic, after a shoulder dystocia, and then had both of his lungs collapsed by the efforts made to revive him. It was a Sunday afternoon in a small hospital in rural Germany. By the time a ped got there and figured out that his lungs had both been collapsed, it had been almost half an hour. They didn't think he would make it through the first night, but he did. He recovered, but the likelihood of brain damage was high. That made me more determined to establish a long-term breastfeeding relationship with him. After one week of nursing him, on demand, with the Lact-Aid, he was focusing on my face and smiling (he was soon smiling at everyone, but it was just me, to start with)! He went on to amaze the doctors who were following his progress, by being advanced in his development. He is now 21 and the father of my beautiful granddaughter!
Then, I got a baby who all ready had significant developmental delays, and antisocial behaviors, at six months old. She'd been born with a congenital diaphragmatic hernia and had parents who retained custody, for four months, but didn't even visit her in the hospital. At placement, she was in pretty bad shape, physically and emotionally, weighed only nine pounds, and was being fed mostly through a gastrostomy. We were strongly cautioned against assuming that she would be normal. I took it as a challenge, as well as an honor, to be able to adopt her. I focused on getting her attached to me, partly through the use of a front pack. It took months of creativity and patience, but I eventually got her nursing, which she did until she was about 25 months old. She is now 19 and a brilliant photographer and graphic artist!
I don't think your son's drug exposure makes him nearly as high risk for problems as my two, but I just wanted to illustrate the fact that breastfeeding is the best thing, even more, for kids who are high risk. I have found that, as a mother, there aren't many times that you can be totally certain that you are doing the best thing. Breastfeeding is one case in which you can!
I suggest that you focus on nursing with the Lact-Aid. Pumping between times is OK, as long as it is not adding stress or preventing you from getting rest, but I wouldn't sacrifice nursing in favor of pumping. You can also pump the opposite side while you are nursing, if you want to. If he is taking the supplement from the Lact-Aid and milk from the breast, he probably doesn't need bottles. If an occasional bottle takes some stress off of you, that is fine. I used to allow myself one four ounce bottle per day. Some days I used it and others I didn't.
I hope everything is going great and that you are enjoying your son!
Darillyn
GOod luck with your nursing! It is definately challenging and VERY time consuming at first but after about 6 wks, things should settle down!