Home Forums Induced Lactation aka Adoptive Breastfeeding Medical Interventions to Induce Lactation/Increase Milk Supply Telling the Birthmother

We're adopting a newborn, and I am beginning the protocol now. I want to breastfeed. My question is: How do you tell the birthmother that you plan to breastfeed?

I would love to hear about some of your experiences and how it goes. I'm very nervous about bringing it up.

Thanks!

Oh... and, when is the best time to talk about it? The first time you talk to her? A little while after the match?

With our first match I didn't even tell her. We never met, just talked via email so the topic never came up. (that match didn't work out) With this match we met and she voiced how important she thought breast feeding was. That's when I pipped in and said I plan on breast feeding.

I think during a meeting would be a good time to bring it up. That is if you get to meet with her. For our first match the opportunity never came up.

We were matched in November with an expectant mom and we had our social worker tell her within a few weeks of us being matched. I was torn but in the end, so glad that I told her so that if she had any reservations about it, she could change her plan then and not after the birth. Also, when we meet her, and I am breastfeeding, I didnt want to have to hide anything from her.

Good luck!

I also didn't want an emom who had uncertainties about me nursing, so we put it in our Dear emom letter. We also did that so if an emom was specifically looking for that, she would be more likely to choose us. Many people told me we were likely to scare many moms away. Oh well.

By the way, I started nursing our baby at 3 months after we were certified. Guess adoptive nursing wasn't so scary. Also, when the bmom came to our house I didn't have to try and hide while I nursed. I'd emailed her and asked her if she would prefer I be out of site. She said no. Watching her I realized she was uncomfortable and since tried not to nurse in front of her, but that is a courtesy thing and not a secret thing.