Thanks everyone for the great replies! Especially Christina for the lesson on placement, that has made a HUGE difference today.
So for the latest. I saw a lact cons. on Thursday. She suggested possibly using a nipple shield since I was having NO luck getting him latched. She made the statement "Don't make the breast a battlefield", and that is exactly what was occurring. I decided to relax a bit and try the nipple shield, and figured since I was pumping anyway, the reduced stimulation with the nipple shield wouldn't be a big deal. Well that seems to have been just the thing! He latched right on to the shield on Thursday and that was the end of the finger feeding. I still offer him the breast w/o the shield, just don't let him get too worked up about it before I switch to the shield. So far this morning he has latched and fed w/o the shield and with the L/A 4 out of 5 times!
Uh oh, he's starting to stir more later....