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Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Our match fell through, baby girl born Fri am, mom is not placing. I feel such a loss...devastated. I was so ready for her, family packed to go get her, all her clothes, 9 mos of pumping. How do you all get through this. Yesterday I cried (sobbed) all day, today I am numb, and don't want to deal with any of this. Any suggestions?
Mindy
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,785
extra helpful experienced member
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extra helpful experienced member
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,785 |
Mindy, HUGS I am so sorry for your loss. I don't know what else to say.
Laurie~Craig's wife~Mom to 4 blessings nurtured at the breast CJ(24)Travis(21)Beka~adopted(9)Rab(6)
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 94
member
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member
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 94 |
I know how you feel. One time, we actually attended the c-section and then paced the hospital floor for three days while her family worked on her. She ended up keeping the baby.
Just realize that: Many times, it is a family crisis for them. You guys get to attend that crisis and benefit from it by receiving the baby. If they all let go and place the baby with you. That is YOUR Baby. You are the parents. S/he will join your family and you are meant to raise her/him.
Until that time, you are on standby. Ready to come forward to receive, when needed. Ready to fill the heart of your newly created family. Feel honored that you were selected as suitable parents and asked to be ready. It will happen again.
It's not about us at the beginning. We stand around waiting. It's about the birthparents' needs. Then when the baby is placed with us, the focus shifts. Then it is all about us and our charge of nurturing a little baby that needed a family.
THEN WE GO TO HEAVEN. PARENTHOOD IS BLISS.
Hope that helps put a spin on what you went through.
{{{{BIG HUG}}}
Thank you for being there for those birthparents. At that time, they needed you as the possible solution to their predicament.
Karie
Domestic Adoption Program
Girl, born Sept. 19, 2005
Girl, born Aug 8, 2001
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
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WOW...what a beautiful comforting thought process. I am amazed at how many close to me are angry...and I feel no anger...I feel saddness and sympathy.. the idea of "readiness" is especialy appealing. I am ready. Not angry.. ready. I admire your srenghth and embrace your kind influence.
I have read your posts...please be as kind and forgiving and accepting of yourself as you are to others. You are accomplishing AMAZING feats of giving. Your daughter (and you) are truly blessed to share each other.
Warmly,
Mindy
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 4
newbie
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newbie
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 4 |
Mindy,
I read your post about the adoption falling through last week, but didn't have the chance to log on and write you.
I want you to know how sad I was for you and how touched I was by these emails I've read of yours and others... Indeed, what a wonderful place to be-- to be empathetic and not enraged. To share in the human struggle and not give yourself over to anger and bitterness. What a testament.
I don't have anything profound to add, other than I am so very sad for you and so very proud of you for your kind hearted response of empathy...
I also want you to know that I've put your name in BIG letters on a post-it note and added it to the little collection I have on the mirror in my bathroom. That way I see your name daily and pray for you-- that God will comfort you and give you peace at this difficult time.
Just wanted you to know. I'm sending blessings your way from California.
You aren't alone.
Heather
Expecting our little miracle by early December, 2005-- our first adoption-- a baby boy.
Doing "Accelerated Protocol" and relying on special friends for supplemental breast milk.
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
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All I can say is much love and reach out to friends.
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