Home Forums Etc... Related Issues HOW DO YOU HANDLE THE WAITING????

Hello! For those who have adopted before, how do you handle the stress and waiting at the end?? Our expectant mother is due any day now, I'm so afraid its not going to work out, and at the same time I'm filled with excitement (and a little anxiousness) about it working out. We aren't really sure about her exact due date, because she didn't get prenatal until we thought she was about 30 weeks, then they did a quick ultrasound and said 28, then a really long detailed ultrasound and decided on 26 - which doesn't make any sense to her. So, that puts us somewhere between 37 and 41 weeks right now. Her last pregnancy she measured very small all the way through, gave birth at 36 weeks (placenta abruption) and the baby weighed 5lbs and 2 or 3 ounces.

I know I know... I'm rattling on and on with irrelevant info!! LOL... I'm just so jittery waiting. Everytime she doesn't call us back or email for a day or two I start to panic thinking she's changed her mind (which honestly, I love her to death and think she is a great mom, so in some regard I'd be happy for her, dissappointed but happy too). I just would rather know one way or the other exactly what is going to happen. I guess I'm a control freak in new territory here...


OK OK, I'll stop typing ... lol

Oh don't stop typing - at least it takes part of the hours that remain. I'm an IM via traditional surrogacy with one odd exception. My sister is our surrogate. She is due to be induced on August 2nd - only 10 more days - tomorrow we are counting down single digits - woohoo!!!! Anyways, the exception is sis is pregnant with a baby girl. We said from the very beginning - if the babe is a girl and you want to keep her we will allow you to do so. (We know how bad she wanted a girl.) So far, she has said "no that this is mine and dh's babe. But, I know that could always change. We've agreed to a 48 hour post delivery decision making time. And as you said in your situation - sis is a great mom and her dh is a wonderful dad. Yes, our hearts would be broken for ourselves but joyful for them if that's what they decide. But it sure makes for an anxious few days! Oh well, only God knows and it is all in His hands.
To answer your ? - "How do you handle the waiting????" I spend a lot of time on the internet, reading mommy magazines, checking one more time to see if I forgot to buy anything Abigail might need, washing, ironing, checking in on sis, yard work. Is that enough? I keep looking for things to do besides watching the clock and calendar.
Ugghhh! I think I'm going koooky!
Let's wait together!
Kim
10 more days till Abigail is in my arms!

My oldest daughter is Abigail... we call her Abbey most of the time. SHe loves her name too. She will turn 6 on August 25th. My youngest is Benjamin (Ben or Benny) and he will turn 3 in November. I have one in the middle, Wesley, he would be 4 in October but he earned his wings after 36 hours of life. This is a girl again, we will name her Miriam ... same middle name as my older daughter, Dawn after my father Donald. **sigh**

Yes, lets wait together.

We are a combined family. DH has 2 kids that he and I raised and I have 1 that we raised. Dh's are 22 yo dd (Jamie) & 17 yo ds (Josh) and my dd is 19 (Danielle). So we are starting over with Abigail! Yeah!
Well, I just talked to sis and she says "no way" about keeping Abigail. She says she has no desire to raise another child but is so very very much ready to just be done. It's hot (here in FL), she's tired and now is starting to really swell. Hopefully, we'll have some good news at the ob appt tomorrow that I can update with.
Are you able to attend any appts? This is an adoption for you - right? I think that's what I remembered anyways??
Before we decided to go the surrogate route we were foster parents hoping to adopt. Although we enjoyed being involved in many childrens lives there were too many broken hearts and too many broken promises from workers.
Oh well, I guess God had other plans for us.
Talk with ya tomorrow!
Kim

My sister lives in Canada and I live in the USA, I don't know how surrogate would work, and honestly I'm sure she wouldn't agree, lol. Surrogacy is very expensive from what I know... but I haven't really looked into it.

We met a woman near our home who knew we were hoping to adopt. When she found herself in this situation, she contacted me. So, here we are, somewhere between 37 and 41 weeks. She is a very tiny framed person, and everyone I know with her build seems to be told by the docs that there baby is small, and then comes out average size. So, I don't know. I'm trying not to worry about that too, lol.

She could go any day, I know she is hoping before July 30th so that she can make it to some events she has scheduled, she doesn't want to have a big belly and have to explain to people she hardly knows right at the end of the pregnancy.

My almost 6yr old is so excited about having a girl, she was with me in the ultrasound room for my 2 yr old and she cried when they announced he is a boy, lol. She dragged the pieces to my crib into her room begging my husband to put it together, something which we have decided to wait on until our little Miriam comes home.

LOL... when we chose the name Miriam we read in a baby book that it means "God's precious gift" or "Longed for child" then we learned it also means bitterness, so we are just going to ignore that last one. lol.

I love hte name Abigail/Abbey!! I thought I was choosing something original when I named my Abbey that. Nope, lol. There are so many, its funny though, I never thought about how we spell "Abbey" just put the E in there, well, she became "Abbey with an E" at her last school, all the other Abbey's were Abby's. LOL At her new school she is starting this year all the Abbey's have an E, so she is excited.

See, now I'm typing too much again!! LOL. My problem is I type nearly as fast as I think... LOL

Well, we had our 37w6d checkup today. HB is good! BP is good! and sis is now 2-3 cm dialated. Our induction is officially scheduled for 8/3. She'll go in in the am and we should have a baby by the end of the day! Woohoo!
Next appt in 1 week.
Kim
still 10 more days!

how exciting!!! : ): )


I haven't heard from our expectant mom today. She usually emails me every day to let me know how she is doing.

mommy2three,
Any news yet? I woke up thinking about ya'll this am. Just checking.

Actually haven't even heard from our expectant mother in several days... I'm going to call her and see if she wants me to pick her up for lunch today or tomorrow.

Sounds like a good way to keep in touch with her. I know my sis said this week that she is getting nervous but by no means is having second thoughts about the baby being ours. Keep in touch!