Home Forums Etc... Related Issues Baby died

The baby girl we were set to adopt, who was supposed to be born any day, she has died. BM had a placenta abruption, the doctors did everything they could, but she didn't make it.

We are in shock, lots of tears, we really don't know where to go from here. I don't know how to tell my daughter. I wish I could take the pain away from bm too. I'm hanging up my pump though. 7.5 years ago I got married, and all I wanted to do was be a mom. 6 years ago the end of the month we had our daughter, then a year later my son was born only to die 3 days later, then 5 miscarriages, then a placenta abruption of my own 2 years ago, then another miscarriage, a failed adoption last year, and now this. I don't know what to do from here.

I am so sorry. ((Big Hugs))

I hope this doesn't sound harsh but isn't it just a bit suspicious that she dropped out of sight, phone shut off etc.. and now this. Are you 100% positive that she didn't scam you and your family. I am so so sorry either way it is a terrible loss for you.

No, it doesnt' sound harsh at all, in fact it is what we thought too.. until I called her house ... she has to go pay her phone (pay as you go) and couldn't because she went into the hospital on Friday. We are going to the funeral on THursday, which is how I know it really happened. The details of the birth/death were almost too much to listen too. Then I felt guilt for thinking she made this all up. And to be honest, we've only given her 315 dollars, we were friends before this, we would have lent it to her until she was on her feet, and she knows this. She says she wants to pay us back, I didn't respond to that, if she does she does, if she doesn't she doesn't. Its only money. She also said she'd send anything the lawyer wanted, so we could know for sure if we choose not to go to the funeral.

Any hints on helping her with her engorgement? I suggested cabbage, thought I heard that once?? She has herself all bound up, but she's just pouring through.

Sage and parsley, ingesting it helps milk dry up. Cabbage leaves yes. Use them raw put them in the bra until they are wilted and replace with fresh. Did they give her anything to dry up her milk.

Again I am so sorry

They gave her some prescriptions but she doesn't remember what they are for, she didn't fill them. I'm picking her up tomorrow and taking her to lunch. I'll pass the info, especially since I told her I thought she was supposed to cook the cabbage ... ew

You know this is just awful. I went back and reread our other posts and this was what she was so afraid of. I had confused you with one of the other Mom's waiting, sorry. Not that it will help heal the pain but I would be encouraging her to see a Lawyer. One med student told her she needed a c-section but the doctor wouldn't schedule it and then last week the doctor tells her she doesn't need one and this happens. It sounds like malpractice.

I know. She's in a really bad place right now too. We all are. I'm completely engorged now too... I bet I could pump 8 or 9 ounces if I sat down to do it... My husband can hardly breath, her boyfriend left this morning and hasn't come back yet... said he needed to be alone... I don't understand why this is happening to us again. What did I do to deserve this path?? I'm a good mom, my children are so happy, everything I do is for them. Our bm is a good mom too, whether she placed or chose to parent I respected her. I just don't understand why this is happening to us.

I am weeping with you. You and your family will be in my prayers.

Please take extra good care of yourself. You are all in shock from this sudden loss.

Please keep us posted on how you are doing. You have been through so much.

Please get some rest, and know that we all genuinely care about you.

Kathleen

Oh my goodness, mommy2three! I'm not even sure what to say?? My heart just aches for you! I would say I can't imagin but one of our very good friends lost her baby a few weeks ago as well. She was full term and due to deliver any day when she found out the baby died in utero and had to be induced for a still birth. All I could do was cry then too!
I don't understand but I do know that I will be praying for all of you!
Kim

I am so sorry to hear the horrible news. My prayers are with you and your family.